I dont know much.

I had the best Valentine's Day ever!!!!!

I think I am going to start writing again. Or at least trying to.

Ani we need to chill, yo.

<3

I have a boyfriend.
And it is so weird.

Fucking, Wow.

You made me love them
They made me hate you

I just read through my whole journal and I said a lot of things. At the time I meant them, and its good to be able to read certain entriesand revisit those times. That summer with the four of us on the porch every night, eating nutella with our fingers, come on, who wouldnt want to do that all over again?
I do so much, I think so much. I think too much?
Ha. I can't start again.
Gods know what I'll do.
I'm going to college.
Fuck.

I hate men.

chikenfajita: wanna chill tonite?
JBDunedain13: do you have a freezer big enough?
chikenfajita: will you be able to get all the gloves off before monday?
JBDunedain13: y?
chikenfajita: hahaha very funny
JBDunedain13: inst it
chikenfajita: y what?
JBDunedain13: why do i have to take off the gloves b4 monday?
chikenfajita: well i guess you can, but i dont know if youd wanna "chill" with 60 pairs of gloves on
JBDunedain13: why monday though?
chikenfajita: because its the first day that came to mind, okay
JBDunedain13: lolx
chikenfajita: ?
chikenfajita: lol
JBDunedain13: so....
chikenfajita: ...
chikenfajita: was that an answer?
JBDunedain13: yes, yes it was
JBDunedain13: answer for?
chikenfajita: the question
chikenfajita: dur
chikenfajita: :-P
JBDunedain13: you diddnt answer mine
chikenfajita: wanna chill tonite?
chikenfajita: i askeded first
JBDunedain13: and i answered your question
chikenfajita: with a question
JBDunedain13: exactly
chikenfajita: okay
chikenfajita: would a regular maytag refridgerator work?
JBDunedain13: is a refridgerator a freezer?
chikenfajita: is a freezer a refridgerator?
JBDunedain13: Does this seem like Whose Line to you?
chikenfajita: are you liking it as much as i am?
JBDunedain13: How much are you liking it?
chikenfajita: how much wood could a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood?
JBDunedain13: wouldnt a wood chuck chuck all the wood he could chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood?
chikenfajita: wouldnt the wood chuck get full?
JBDunedain13: wouldnt he keep what he couldnt eat in the maytag refridgerator?
chikenfajita: can you loan him the money to buy one?
JBDunedain13: do wood chucks have wallets?
chikenfajita: is there even a woodchuckurrency?
JBDunedain13: isnt that two words?
chikenfajita: wood chuck or chuck currency?
JBDunedain13: should you know?
JBDunedain13: souldnt**
chikenfajita: hehe...didnt you just tell me that you know all?
JBDunedain13: arent you listening?
chikenfajita: am i supposed to be listening?
JBDunedain13: dont you love me anymore?
chikenfajita: whats in a name?
JBDunedain13: why wont you answer me?
chikenfajita: which question am i supposed to answer?
JBDunedain13: are you trying to ignore the question at hand?
chikenfajita: who do you think started this?
JBDunedain13: are you trying to turn this on me?
chikenfajita: do you i should be?
chikenfajita: lol you think i should be*
JBDunedain13: does that make sense?
chikenfajita: didnt you make sense of it?
JBDunedain13: are you calling me stupid?
chikenfajita: do you think i would actually do such a thing?
JBDunedain13: ahfvhasdji
JBDunedain13: ajksbhvgasbvjilasdf
JBDunedain13: jklabnvnvjk
JBDunedain13: cassie just called me
chikenfajita: have i stumped thou?
chikenfajita: isnt that ironic?
JBDunedain13: lolx
chikenfajita: does she want me to call her?
JBDunedain13: she ruined my thunder
chikenfajita: do you think i should?
JBDunedain13: lolx
chikenfajita: i just got hit with a damn bolt im on fire
JBDunedain13: huh?
chikenfajita: do you really not understand or are you trying the question thing again?
JBDunedain13: what do you think im trying to do?
chikenfajita: what am i, a mind reader?
JBDunedain13: dont you think theyre crooks?
chikenfajita: do you have 5 dollars so i can look into my crystal ball and tell you?
JBDunedain13: do you think i would waste my money on that?
chikenfajita: would you rather buy a corn dog?
JBDunedain13: do you actually like those things?
chikenfajita: who really does?
JBDunedain13: who doesnt?
chikenfajita: wait...do you think that i do?
JBDunedain13: am i being called?
chikenfajita: is your phone ringing?
JBDunedain13: cant you hear it?
chikenfajita: does it sound like a cross between happy birthday and a cow mooing?
JBDunedain13: what are you smoking?
chikenfajita: dont you know?
JBDunedain13: is it that stuff you bought from me?
chikenfajita: do you mean the purple stuff?
JBDunedain13: isnt that the only stuff i sell?
chikenfajita: how am i supposed to remember?
JBDunedain13: doesnt the purple stuff enhance memory?
chikenfajita: was it the blue stuff then?
JBDunedain13: the stuff that causes cancer?
chikenfajita: that stuff causes cancer?
JBDunedain13: you dont have cancer yet?
chikenfajita: isnt there an incubation period?
JBDunedain13: whats incubation?
chikenfajita: didnt you hatch baby chicks in kindergarten?
JBDunedain13: what do you think i am some kind of savage?
JBDunedain13: i wasnt supposed to eat the eggs?
chikenfajita: have the cops found you yet?
JBDunedain13: there on to me?
chikenfajita: do you think maybe Cassies with the cops?
JBDunedain13: youve thought bout that too?
chikenfajita: is there a reason you have the icon i wanted but my computer rudely wouldnt let me get?
JBDunedain13: thats the icon?
chikenfajita: the one from buddyicon.com?
JBDunedain13: dont you know its from badassbuddy.com?
chikenfajita: dont you know the stuff you gave me really doesnt help with memory?
JBDunedain13: did you know i happened to be thinking of you when i picked this icon?
chikenfajita: is that an insult?
JBDunedain13: you were gonna pick it werent you?
chikenfajita: what are you trying to say?
JBDunedain13: dont you know i love you?
chikenfajita: did you ever know that youre my herrroooooo?
JBDunedain13: am i the wind beneath your wings?
chikenfajita: is my maytag big enough to chill in?
JBDunedain13: did you know i was bout to say that?
chikenfajita: do you know you make me laugh so hard?
JBDunedain13: 
JBDunedain13: am i some kind of comedian?
chikenfajita: did that cat eat my prozac?
JBDunedain13: you take prozac?
chikenfajita: dont you know i switched meds two months ago?
JBDunedain13: arent we supposed to be hanging out?
chikenfajita: didnt i say that half an hour ago?
JBDunedain13: how the hell am i supposed to know it was your anal depostory?
chikenfajita: what?
JBDunedain13: so what are we going to do about this situation?
chikenfajita: which situation?
JBDunedain13: dont you realize we keep avoiding it?
chikenfajita: do you believe im really TRYING to?
JBDunedain13: avoid it?
chikenfajita: isnt that what was implied?
JBDunedain13: so where do you want to chill?
chikenfajita: well dont you want smores?
JBDunedain13: diddnt we already discuss my failing memory?
JBDunedain13: wouldnt i love some?
chikenfajita: would you?
JBDunedain13: it depends on who makes them
chikenfajita: do you know i burn them every time?
JBDunedain13: dont you know im great at making them?
JBDunedain13: diddnt you see my cooking award?
chikenfajita: dont you know im talking to Cassie?
JBDunedain13: how am i supposed to know?
chikenfajita: so youre good at making smores?
JBDunedain13: diddnt i just say that?
chikenfajita: are you planning on actually making them or just boasting?
JBDunedain13: wheres the supplies?
chikenfajita: where does the wood chuck keep his wood?
JBDunedain13: why dont you tell me?
chikenfajita: dont you know i cant lose this game?
JBDunedain13: do you think i can?
chikenfajita: hasnt "cassie called you"?
JBDunedain13: why dont you ask her?
chikenfajita: dont you know i was just on the phone with her?
JBDunedain13: diddnt you tell me?
chikenfajita: why should i bother her again?
JBDunedain13: dont you wanna find out?
chikenfajita: dont you wanna come over?
JBDunedain13: do you want me to?
chikenfajita: do you realize thats the stupidest question ive heard?
JBDunedain13: are you saying im stupid?
chikenfajita: didnt you use that question?
JBDunedain13: did i?
chikenfajita: yup

Has she not posted since September? Or am I just not included in the set of people she deems worthy of her words?

Do I want to use this?
Do I want to use this to keep track of what I do, despite the fact that I have a real journal already?
Do I want to use this to entertain others at my expense?
Do I want to fill this with cryptic messages to lovers and friends?
That's the problem. I don't know what I want.
I want her. I want him. She wants me. He wants me. I don't want him. We want each other.
We want this, but not that. He wants that, but not this. One without the other, differing with everybody. When I knew what I wanted, I got rejected by her. She told me she was straight (a story for another day). When I knew what I wanted, I got rejected by him. He told me he didn't like me the "same way" (saw him drunk last week). I give up.
And then there's her. A different her. I don't know what she wants. I'd like to think I'd give it to her, whatever it may be. But certain things scare me, they always have. That word, should a teenager even know it? Commitment. How serious is this? Should I wait until I think im ready, or do i need to conquer my fear by diving in? I wouldn't want it to be at her expense though, if I can't conquer my fear. Or what if she doesn't even want that? What if she just wants to be friends? Or hook up? Or...I'm okay with anything, but I don't know what she wants. I barely know what I want.
Bah, rambling.
Do I want to use this?

Joel
Jova
Chris
Casey
Greg

Why arent I with the ones I love most, and show they love me?
I love you guys. More than anything.
Although I like my graphing calculator a lot.

I miss you, even when I'm with you, because I know we can't stay forever.

I had...a good night.
Goodnight.

Yeah i cant do the friends only thing because i keep forgetting but im going to try to in the future...
I deleted my journal for a week or so because i wasnt writing but i realized i could keep stuff here ... like thoughts and stuff....because i wanted somewhere to type and i realized this was the place.so yeah i dont feel eloquent right now but i really dont care i just want to die ah omg i hate this i have so much anxiety all the time i cant handle it i dont even want to end a sentence to stop speaking with a period perhaps in fear of the second i stop talking is the same second people stop listening to what i have to say......do i have anything to say? Do I have a purpose? Will I make a difference?

Im not sure how much I like LJ anymore...Not many of my friends post...and many dont read.
Im not that into dishing my life out online and not knowing who actually reads it.
And if youre a close friend...and you care...just talk to me.

Fuhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhckkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk...........

I hate a hell of a lot of things.

Number one being lack of sleep.
Two. Lack of good conversation.

Comment to be Added.

and NOTE: I'VE DELETED ALL OF MY FRIENDS

so comment to be added so i know you actually read this. But if youre someone i like lots ill probably add you after a week or so...but even if you were my friend before...thats not a free in. SO

Comment to be Added.

Hmm...

Anyone who reads this...
Leave me a comment and tell me what youve been up to since the last time we really got a chance to talk. To talk about our relationship, whats going on with our lives, whats going on with the world. Because its been so long since I've really done that with most of my friends. Theres always one thing or another that gets in the way. Or some stupid excuse i make up as one thing or another...that gets in the way. So Just drop me a line. Dont hold back. Write a ten page comment. Just let me know what youre doing.

And if its easier just to drop me as a friend...let me know if that is what you think is the best thing to do. Ill either say okay and let you be, or we'll have a little talk and we can come to a conclustion together, But I dont want to be just hanging by a thread with a bunch of friends when theres no point, if neither of us really have that interest anymore...

So Either way...let me know...

Comment...or if you would rather...email me...
Legallyinsane13@hotmail.com

Can you name 21 people you can think of right off the top of your head? Dont read the questions underneath until you write the names of all 21 people. Ready, Start!

People:
1. Steve
2. Chris
3. Lexi
4. Ashley
5. Casey
6. Greg
7. Ricky
8. Erik
9. Dana
10. Nicole
11. Janelle
12. Billy
13. Joel
14. Jimmy
15. Katt
16. Sergio
17. Joe
18. Josh
19. Deanne
20. Seth
21. Parow

Now answer the questions according to the names listed below

THE QUESTIONS:
( Clicky )

Hahaha

This has got to be THE FUNNIEST blonde joke i've read,

Lmao Im going to be telling this one for weeks!